


no crustacean ever will

by templeofshame



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2011 Era (Phandom), Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Simon death, boyfriend's pet grief, brine shrimp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 20:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14386533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeofshame/pseuds/templeofshame
Summary: Simon is dead, and Dan's not supposed to be sad.(prerequisite viewing: RIP Simon on amazingphil)





	no crustacean ever will

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't do my research so don't come at me with that.  
> Also I didn't write this ridiculous thing, you're hallucinating right now.

It's not actually quiet at Phil's, not quieter than usual. Phil is filming a thin wall away and it's not like Simon made noise anyway. It's not as if the triopses and Linda hadn't died weeks ago. But Dan is wrapping himself in toilet paper in front of a camera and wondering if he might actually cry.

Humor is a hobby, a means of self-expression, a coping mechanism, Phil's job, more or less… It's a way to comprehend the absurdity of life or, if you can't beat it, join it. It's a way for Dan to take his own sadness and say, 'right now, I am grieving for a prehistoric brine shrimp.' On some level, he knows there's more to it than Simon, but Simon is part of it.

Simon is not the only tiny life he and Phil brought forth, but he's the one Phil had connected with, had made the hero of some pulpy story where impregnation and survival were things to celebrate and the bad guys ate each other's heads. He's the one Phil is currently attributing their interests to — his interests — in the lounge. Simon was Phil's pet more than Dan's, and Phil seems more nostalgic than sad. But Phil is Phil, and Simon was also a beloved character in Dan's favorite show, no matter how much the lines between it and Dan's life blur. Maybe it's the fictional grief, then; Dan's always felt that deeply. He did think of "The Body" this morning, struggling to choose a somber outfit for the video, and to mope in. He's never made it through Anya's monologue without crying, but he can make it through filming. He's not gonna be the guy who actually cried at a shrimp funeral. He's gonna be danisnotonfire, who is way too cool to be sad right now. He's gonna be silly, over-the-top in a way that lets everyone know his life is the same charming mess, with or without Simon. Dan is totally fine.

He’s definitely not going back to halls tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> i live on [tumblr](), say hi.


End file.
